How to get over a breakup? - Counselors How to get over a breakup? - Counselors

How to get over a breakup?

A breakup, especially an unexpected one, can cause all sorts of feelings that interfere with your everyday life. Though it may be tempting to shut the world out and wallow in bed, life will continue around you so it’s important to keep moving forward. Things you can do to get through a breakup

Cut Contact

The first step to getting over any breakup is to cut off all contact with your ex-partner. Going no contact is difficult at first, but it is the only way to start living a new life that doesn’t include your ex. Any conversations with your ex, no matter how small, will bring up old memories that will interfere with your breakup recovery process. 

Eliminate Reminders


Anything that reminds you of your ex should be donated, thrown out, or hidden away until you are ready to see them again. This could include gifts they bought you, items you bought together, pictures, and love letters.

Stay Healthy

The best gift you can give yourself after a hard breakup is to make your health a priority. It’s common to want to eat only junk food after a breakup, or worse, to stop eating entirely. But both choices cause your energy levels to plummet, which will only make you feel worse. Eating nutritious meals and exercising regularly will help you to feel refreshed and strong, both physically and mentally.

Keep Busy

Too much idle time could let your mind wander towards thoughts of your broken relationship, so fill your time with positive activities like visiting friends or volunteering. Distractions will help to lift your mood and to show you that life can still go on without your ex. You can also use your newfound free time to try a hobby that’s outside of your comfort zone, like painting or rock climbing. 

Let It Out

Ending a relationship causes a significant emotional reaction that cannot be ignored. Bottling up your feelings only leads to increased pain and frustration, which will delay your recovery. Instead, vent about your breakup to a trusted group of friends, or write about it if sharing out loud is too difficult. Allow yourself a few vent sessions before consciously deciding to start moving forward.

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Avoid Rebounds

You’ll be lonely after a breakup, but don’t let the fear of being alone cause you to jump right into another relationship. A relationship that begins before you have fully healed from your last one is doomed to fail, causing unnecessary pain for both yourself and your rebound partner. An important part of breakup recovery is learning about yourself. If you instantly attach yourself to a new partner, you will rob yourself of the chance to discover who you are outside of a couple.

Pamper Yourself

Your self-esteem takes a hit when going through a breakup, so practicing self-care is very important. Pamper yourself by watching a TV show you like, eating a favorite meal, or buying yourself a small treat. Also, don’t underestimate the power of positive thinking. Learn to end each day by reflecting on at least one good thing that happened. That way, you’ll always go to sleep with a good attitude.

Give It Time 

Unfortunately, the only real way to get past a bad breakup is to give yourself time to heal. It could take weeks or months to start feeling back to normal, so don’t expect too much too fast. Time will heal the wounds from a bad breakup, but you have to be patient and understanding with yourself as you heal.

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